Tag Archives: doctor who

Mile 1680: Ponderings from the Elliptical

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“Why am I not scared in the morning?
I don’t hear those voices calling.”
–twenty-one pilots, “Ode to Sleep”

Miles Last Week: 60
Total Miles: 1680

Several people have told me that they don’t like the treadmill or elliptical because they get bored while using them. I see their point–you’re doing a lot of moving without going anywhere–but I’ve also found that I get a lot of thinking done on the elliptical. Since you don’t have to worry about getting lost or anything, you can let your mind wander freely. Here are just a few random, sometimes slightly paranoid things I’ve found myself considering over the course of many miles.

Think, think, think, think.. Source

Think, think, think, think..
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“How to fix my novel…hmmm…”

“Aw, man. What am I going to blog about this week? Oh, look. That beetle just fell over on it’s back.”

“If I lost my balance and fell off this thing, I bet my foot would get stuck between the pedals but I would keep falling, causing my tibia to rip through my skin. And of course, it’s Sunday morning and no one else is here, so I would probably bleed to death because I would be knocked unconscious. My phone would slide across the room, anyway, so even if I did wake up, I probably wouldn’t be able to get my foot unstuck so that I could army crawl across the room to call 911–which would really just exacerbate my terrible injury. And army crawling looks hard, especially with a horribly broken tibia.”

“I’m going to die in this gym.”

“Why are sports things always on the big televisions? I really feel like we’re perpetuating a stereotype, here.”

“Maybe I should try stand-up comedy or join an improv class or something.”

(Side note–roughly eighty percent of the podcasts I listen to are hosted by or involve comedians. This may or may not be related.)

“Oh, no, I probably shouldn’t do stand-up comedy or improv. I would cry the first time I got heckled.”

“IF I DON’T FIND WHERE THIS ANNOYING, ROGUE STRAND OF HAIR STICKING TO MY FACE IS ATTACHED SOON I’M GOING TO MURDERPUCH THIS ELLIPTICAL.”

“I wonder what Benedict Cumberbatch is doing right now. Probably something charming and awesome.”

“Dang it. That person is facing this general direction. I can’t pick my wedgie right now.”

“Why does my foot keep falling asleep? I’m constantly moving. There’s probably something wrong with me.”

“I wish the monitor on this thing had access to my DVR.”

“I bet having a podcast is fun.”

“Why do the Silence on Doctor Who wear suits? That’s not very scary. They look like they’re going to a wedding. Sure, they also have bulbous heads with no mouths and can either zap you with lightning or give you suggestions that you’ll follow but not remember because you won’t ever remember seeing the Silence at all–but suits? I mean, what are they, some kind of Secret Service religious order that has the power to shape all life on Earth but that we don’t know exist because we forget about them when we aren’t looking at them? Oh, wait. That actually is kind of scary.”

“I’m hungry.”

I don't know why I added a blank image. I had the weirdest urge to do it. Source

I don’t know why I added a blank image. I had the weirdest urge to do it, though.
Source

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Mile 1106: Nerd Solidarity Through Workout Gear

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“Far over the misty mountains cold
To dungeons deep and caverns old,
We must away ‘ere break of day
To find our long forgotten gold.”
–“Misty Mountains,” The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Miles Since Last Time: 92
Total Miles: 1106

I once saw a girl wearing a “Keep Calm and Kill Zombies” t-shirt at the gym. I was so excited–another exercising nerd. I realize this is a gym stereotype, but I’ve seen a lot of really buff, non-geeky guys and gals there, so I felt this girl and I were somewhat kindred spirits.

I gave her a little nod but didn’t speak. It was enough to know that we were two future zombie killers huffing and puffing our way through another workout.

(Plus, I mean, she was on the treadmill, and I was on the elliptical, so it’s not like we were besties or anything. Three-horns don’t play with long-necks. I sometimes do the treadmill, though, so we could sometimes talk.)

Sure, I may have been assuming a lot about this girl, but it felt really nice to see another non-jock in the jock-iest place I visit during the day. So, I found a few more shirts that promote solidarity among the fitness-minded nerds among us.

 

Maybe Elle Woods from Legally Blonds isn’t strictly geeky, but quoting movies is. And you can’t really argue with her logic. Happy people don’t shoot their husbands. They just don’t. They’re ripped, though.

 

The quickest way to spot a Whovian at the gym. Adipose may be little pounds of fat that walk away from your body in the middle of the night (don’t think about it too much or you’ll get grossed out), but they’re so adorable! I kind of want to have one as a pet until I remember that THEY ARE LITERALLY POUNDS OF FAT.

 

This shirt says you like Internet things. And Gersberms. But everyone likes Gersberms. And the Internet. This shirt is basically for everyone in the whole world.

 

Well, you’re not going to simply walk into Mordor. (And I just saw that there’s a typo. “Workout” is a noun. To “work out” would be the verb form. I’m disappointed, Internet, but not so disappointed that I’m going to sacrifice my sweet Boromir joke to find a different shirt to put here.)

 

A zombie on a treadmill. I’m not saying it’s an accurate representation of what I look like at the gym, but I’m not saying it’s inaccurate, either.

I’d happily silently signal to other members of the nerd tribe by wearing any of these shirts–as a t-shirt, of course. If I wore a tank top to the gym, I probably wouldn’t have many friends, geek or not.

But I could probably fly, you fools!

(Get it? Bat wings? Never mind.)