Mile 1393: The Plight of the Uncoordinated


“Tighten up on your reigns.
You’re running wild, running wild. It’s true.”
–The Black Keys, “Tighten Up”

Miles Last Week: 57
Total Miles: 1393

Can someone please explain to me how to do a proper squat without falling over?

For a couple of days over the last week, I’ve replaced lunges with squats to add some variety (ahem, to save time) during the booty challenge.

I’m familiar with the concept of the proper squat: back straight, thighs parallel with the floor, and knees not to extend over your toes. I just can’t seem to do all of this at the same time.


But really, how is she not falling backward? Source

But really, how is she not falling backward?

If I keep my thighs parallel with the floor, my knees extend over my toes. If I keep my back straight, my thighs don’t stay parallel to the floor. If I keep my knees from extending over my toes, nothing does what it’s supposed to.

It’s like workout whack-a-mole.

Doing lunges is even worse. I look like someone trying to fake her way through a sobriety test in the wee hours of a stereotypical New Year’s morning.

Such is the lot in life for the massively uncoordinated. Normally, I’d just shrug and accept that I would never do squats or lunges perfectly,  and would your knees extending over your toes be the worst thing to happen, anyway?

But form is important–so is not falling over. After all, if you don’t do exercises correctly, you can hurt yourself. No one wants that. Sometimes you just have to suck it up (or in, as it were) and do it til you get it right.

It’s probably a core thing, right? It seems like it might be a core thing. Pretty much everything is a core thing.

Don’t make me go back to planking. I won’t do it.

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