“Far over the misty mountains cold
To dungeons deep and caverns old,
We must away ‘ere break of day
To find our long forgotten gold.”
–“Misty Mountains,” The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Miles Since Last Time: 92
Total Miles: 1106

I once saw a girl wearing a “Keep Calm and Kill Zombies” t-shirt at the gym. I was so excited–another exercising nerd. I realize this is a gym stereotype, but I’ve seen a lot of really buff, non-geeky guys and gals there, so I felt this girl and I were somewhat kindred spirits.

I gave her a little nod but didn’t speak. It was enough to know that we were two future zombie killers huffing and puffing our way through another workout.

(Plus, I mean, she was on the treadmill, and I was on the elliptical, so it’s not like we were besties or anything. Three-horns don’t play with long-necks. I sometimes do the treadmill, though, so we could sometimes talk.)

Sure, I may have been assuming a lot about this girl, but it felt really nice to see another non-jock in the jock-iest place I visit during the day. So, I found a few more shirts that promote solidarity among the fitness-minded nerds among us.

 

Maybe Elle Woods from Legally Blonds isn’t strictly geeky, but quoting movies is. And you can’t really argue with her logic. Happy people don’t shoot their husbands. They just don’t. They’re ripped, though.

 

The quickest way to spot a Whovian at the gym. Adipose may be little pounds of fat that walk away from your body in the middle of the night (don’t think about it too much or you’ll get grossed out), but they’re so adorable! I kind of want to have one as a pet until I remember that THEY ARE LITERALLY POUNDS OF FAT.

 

This shirt says you like Internet things. And Gersberms. But everyone likes Gersberms. And the Internet. This shirt is basically for everyone in the whole world.

 

Well, you’re not going to simply walk into Mordor. (And I just saw that there’s a typo. “Workout” is a noun. To “work out” would be the verb form. I’m disappointed, Internet, but not so disappointed that I’m going to sacrifice my sweet Boromir joke to find a different shirt to put here.)

 

A zombie on a treadmill. I’m not saying it’s an accurate representation of what I look like at the gym, but I’m not saying it’s inaccurate, either.

I’d happily silently signal to other members of the nerd tribe by wearing any of these shirts–as a t-shirt, of course. If I wore a tank top to the gym, I probably wouldn’t have many friends, geek or not.

But I could probably fly, you fools!

(Get it? Bat wings? Never mind.)