“’Cause she walks so bad, like it feels so good.”
–Lady Gaga, “Donatella”
Miles Since Last Time: 91.5
Total Miles: 257.5
Here’s a weird development: I started wearing my jeans correctly last week.
Before you start to think that I’ve been wearing them backward or as some kind of avant-garde jacket in the year that I’ve owned these pants, just know that would not be accurate. It turns out that they are much more high-waisted than I originally realized–as in, “the waistband hits a bit below the bottom of my ribcage” high-waisted.
You may be wondering how I didn’t realize this before, and the answer is very simple. I prefer flared jeans because every other type of cut looks tapered on me, and if I remember anything from watching What Not to Wear, it’s that you never want your pants to look tapered. So, I tend to invest in flared jeans when I’m in need. And since they aren’t exactly in style right now, I kind of have to take them where I can get them.
When I bought these particular jeans, they fit in the legs but not the waist. I didn’t let that stop me from buying four pairs. (I really needed new jeans, okay?) To compensate, I would do this fun little trick of looping a rubber band around the button and through the buttonhole to fasten them without having a huge overhang over the top of the waistband. Luckily, my shirts were long enough to cover my jerry-rigged system.
A few months ago, I started being able to button my pants properly at my waist area, and I legitimately realized last week they are actually meant to be worn well above the navel in order to suck in some stuff that you probably want sucked in.
Whew. That’s a lot of back-story to get to this simple ‘eureka’ moment: High-waisted pants make you sit up straighter.
At best, my normal posture could be described as “perpetually leaning forward”–AKA, “slouchy.” At worst, you could say that I rest my upper body on my gut. It’s not pretty, but I’ve found that having a waistband cut across the bottom of your ribs forces you to rethink how you sit. A girl’s gotta breathe without being cut in half.
Also, I just want to add that I feel reasonably certain that these are not “mom” jeans. If they are, then I really need to take a good, long look at my life.