Mile 257.5: The Unintended Effect of High-Waisted Jeans


“’Cause she walks so bad, like it feels so good.”
–Lady Gaga, “Donatella”

Miles Since Last Time: 91.5
Total Miles: 257.5

Here’s a weird development: I started wearing my jeans correctly last week.

Before you start to think that I’ve been wearing them backward or as some kind of avant-garde jacket in the year that I’ve owned these pants, just know that would not be accurate. It turns out that they are much more high-waisted than I originally realized–as in, “the waistband hits a bit below the bottom of my ribcage” high-waisted.

You may be wondering how I didn’t realize this before, and the answer is very simple. I prefer flared jeans because every other type of cut looks tapered on me, and if I remember anything from watching What Not to Wear, it’s that you never want your pants to look tapered. So, I tend to invest in flared jeans when I’m in need. And since they aren’t exactly in style right now, I kind of have to take them where I can get them.

Obviously not me. Source

Obviously not me or my jeans.

When I bought these particular jeans, they fit in the legs but not the waist. I didn’t let that stop me from buying four pairs. (I really needed new jeans, okay?) To compensate, I would do this fun little trick of looping a rubber band around the button and through the buttonhole to fasten them without having a huge overhang over the top of the waistband. Luckily, my shirts were long enough to cover my jerry-rigged system.

A few months ago, I started being able to button my pants properly at my waist area, and I legitimately realized last week they are actually meant to be worn well above the navel in order to suck in some stuff that you probably want sucked in.

Whew. That’s a lot of back-story to get to this simple ‘eureka’ moment: High-waisted pants make you sit up straighter.

At best, my normal posture could be described as “perpetually leaning forward”–AKA, “slouchy.” At worst, you could say that I rest my upper body on my gut. It’s not pretty, but I’ve found that having a waistband cut across the bottom of your ribs forces you to rethink how you sit. A girl’s gotta breathe without being cut in half.

Also, I just want to add that I feel reasonably certain that these are not “mom” jeans. If they are, then I really need to take a good, long look at my life.

 So, forget that old scheme of trying to balance a book on your head. The thought of books falling to the floor truly hurts a piece of my soul. Protect them and try out some high-waisted, possibly control-top, non-mom jeans.


2 responses »

  1. I love this so much! First, congrats on your 2,014 project–what a brilliant idea! Second, I too just recently bought a pair of jeans made for an actual grown woman (and not a “junior”–seriously, that’s how out-of-date my jeans are) and it’s amazing how COMFORTABLE they are! They fit right, they curve where necessary, and get this, they are even the right length! WHAT!? I know. Crazy!

    I look forward to keeping up with your blog!!

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