“Pictures came and broke your heart,
Put the blame on VCR.”
–The Buggles, “Video Killed the Radio Star”

Miles This Week: 46.5
Miles Total: 491.25

My gym has exactly four televisions that patrons can enjoy as they work up a sweat. The machines have headphone jacks that you can plug into in order to listen to what’s happening on any one of them. In almost two months of going there on a semi-regular basis, I’ve noticed that certain channels and programs are a regular feature, and being an American, I’ve taken the opportunity to assume things about people based on their viewing patterns.

Here’s what your TV choice at the gym may or may not say about you:

Anything on the Food Network
You are a sado-masochist and enjoy making everyone suffer.

Cake Boss on TLC
See above.

Fox News (which is on at least one TV everyday–I live in Oklahoma)
I just…can’t…

Any movie edited for television
You’re a “leave the TV on for noise” kind of person.

Local news
You’re training to run away from the next tornado. (Like I said–Oklahoma.)

ESPN/any sports game
You like to have an example when you are doing something.

HGTV
Working on yourself + getting ideas for your home = Multi-tasker!

The Bachelor
You are considering applying for The Bachelor or one of it’s many spin-offs.

CMT
You’re a fan of the boots-and-shorty-shorts look. (Side Note: I’m a bit surprised by how often CMT airs The Karate Kid.)

Since these are just my assumptions, I’m assuming that they are 100% correct. I mean, I have a real sense about people.

You may be wondering which of these I am. Well, all of them and none of them, in a way. At the gym, I listen to podcasts on my phone. So, in my ears I’ve got the Nerdist or StarTalk Radio or another pop culture/comedy podcast going and sometimes I mentally fill in the dialogue I’m not hearing from the television. It really makes the time on the elliptical pass quickly.